Week Two (Ash)

L O V E

For this one specific topic, I am going to compile some of my older writings, with my later thoughts. I am quite a thinker upon love and heartbreak as there are.

I. I strongly believe love and death are almost the same. They both happen once, and they both take your soul from you. I do not know about afterlife, or for the matter, second love, but I think you die a little bit in every love. Ironic that.

II. It's almost horrifying and shocking that how much,how terrifyingly much,different people really are than what they show. A rose is beautiful,until the thorn penetrates your skin, and in the same way,people are good until reality bites you. In a sick,way,imagination is fatal. It leaves you soulless,eventually. It's a fog of blindness over what you know is evil. Everybody in life is not good. Sadly,very few are,yet I could tell you a million 'good' people with white hearts and red souls exist. Near you. Love is not so much of a fantasy--more poison than elixir. A poison,an intense,destructive power you hand over to people who don't give a damn about whether it's you who's screaming,crying,when everything is up in flames. Love is not tragedy,the people are.

III. But, what I can say is falling in love is more painful than falling out. And this...is something that can only be felt. Not told. It is a too hauntingly beautiful thing to spoil by naming it or assigning words to. You can just feel it like wine on your tongue and mist in your eyes.
The real question is not that will it pain?

The real question is how far shall you let it pain?

IV. If I could ask Time one wish, I'd ask to go back to that moment when I saw you. When I saw your eyes that still haunt me in my dreams. I'd change our paths so that they never meet, because what's happening right now is our fault and not that of the stars. Our stars crossed, but we were too stubborn to let them go different ways. I'd change that moment when you said your loving words to me, and I let down my defenses, and became all too vulnerable to a silent torture called love. I'd change the terrible fate that has made me stand here, and I'd undo all that our eyes said. I'd erase all those pretty memories and then the horrible missing. The nights we spent and the promises we made.
Just so that I could escape this pain of losing you. The pain that's haunting me, shattering me every second. I'd want to undo it all. Undo my love. I want to go back and change it all.

Because, darling, your name still shatters me.

V. We all are merely mounds of flesh, wanting to be tragedies of someone's life.

VI. Before you,
I was someone else.
Before you,
life was something else.
Before you,
feelings were different.
Before you,
days were boring.
Before you,
nights were too dark.
Before you,
love was something afar.
Now you're here,
and I don't really remember
what everything was like
before you.
Darling, they ask
what happened to me...

I say you have happened to me.

VII.There's a drunkenness in loving yourself. Like being smoked upon the ecstasy of love and epochs. You're all to yourself. Nobody, not even darkness, which steals your shadow from you can snatch your soul from you.

VIII. Love you can't run away from, is the worst kind of love.

IX. Lord, teach me how to break somebody's heart and trust, I too want to be the poetry in the ink of their soul. I too want to live forever between these words that I love so much.

X. Some stories do not have happy endings, they end in reality.

XI. You loved me and I became myself.

XII. You poisoned my very name. 

XIII. Cure me with your words, darling.

XIV. So don't fall in love with me. Because if you do, then you shall know why love is the cruelest of them all, why knives hurt a lot lesser than heartbreak and why pain is disguised as an icicle.

It can't be seen, nor leaves a mark but it still kills.

XV. Love is quite simple when you know where it lies. It lies not in plucking stars from heavens, or seeing the moon inferior in comparison. It lies in little gestures we almost forget to do. It lies in a pecks on cheeks, a simple gaze, a laugh, a sudden, honest "I love you", in saying, in reminding the other that you are in love with them. A little reminder of love never hurt anyone. Love lies in small things. It is complicated when you make it. It is pain when you make it.

So?

Can you fathom my thoughts into something you, me and everyone can understand? Because I, being a true Gemini, cannot. My thoughts upon love are too wild, too inconsistent. Heartbreak is fatal. Love is that thin line between poison and elixir. You stumble, falling, tripping all because of love, and it pains. But at the end, it's love, and love only that picks you up and keeps you going. Why? Because as F. Scott Fitzgerald puts it, "At the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, and only love can heal our brokenness."

-Ash😘